I wrote a post a couple of days ago about dealing with rejection when it comes from the church. There are a few things I wish I had made more clear in that post. See, my point wasn’t to rant about the pain inflicted on me by people. My point was simple, and I don’t think I made it well. My point is this:
God will never reject you.
I wish I could make that statement alive for you. I wish that typing it here would plant it in your heart so it could take root and change your life. If saying it over and over would do the trick, I would type that sentence forever. I would record myself saying it and play it on your iPod in your ears while you sleep.
But I can’t make it real for you. You have to have that moment yourself, where you see how true it is. You have to live it, let it wash over you so you understand every nuance of God’s deep love for you.
I want to help you, so I’ll tell you how I came to my moment of clarity. But first let’s play a little game. Take out a pencil and paper. Make a list of five things you like about yourself. My list is something like this:
- I’m creative.
- I have pretty eyes.
- I’m thoughtful.
- I have a nice smile.
- I care about people.
Oh, I know what you’re thinking. ”Isn’t this prideful, bragging?” You’ve written two things and you’ve stopped because you’re afraid of writing something you think is true about you that no one else thinks is true about you. It’s not prideful and it’s not bragging. Your list is celebrating who God made you.
Some of you will do this and some of you will get it. God will show some of you something completely different from what I learned. Some of you will think I’m nuts. I’m okay with that. Just try it, go on this journey with me.
Look at your list, memorize it. When you start dwelling on an unkind word that was spoken to you, a wrong that was done to you, say your list to yourself. When your day is crummy and nothing is working out, say your list to yourself. Just say your list.
Pray your list. Thank God for those things, for reminding you of them.
Here’s what I learned from my list:
I was in counseling for depression, and my therapist was doing cognitive behavioral therapy with me. My therapist helped me work on changing behaviors that contributed to depression: diet, exercise, sleep habits, and other things. She also taught me relaxation techniques, and she helped me identify thought processes that were trapping me in a negative cycle and develop ways to stop them. The list was one exercise we did.
I said that list over and over for weeks. Sometimes I didn’t mean it. Most of the time I felt pretty silly reciting that list in my head. I was walking to class one morning, saying my list and everything changed form me. God broke through my thoughts and showed me something about myself I had missed.
God made the list. He put those things in me. He likes my list, and so much more about me. No matter what a person says about me or does to me, they’ll never change my list. God made my list.
God made your list too. People can reject you, the church can reject you, they can ignore your list, but God never will.
God made your list. And He thinks it’s pretty amazing.
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